The star that burns too bright...

So I think yesterday was worse than today so far. Last night I did what any sane girl would do when her boyfriend breaks up with her. I colored my hair. It wasn't a big change, in fact when he told me he wanted to be out of you relationship I was buying my hair color in order to have freshly color hair for the Vegas trip we were supposed to go on for my birthday. Monday after he broke up with me I went out and spent $76 on new bras and panties, but I desperately needed those(it was a really good sale because I bought $217 worth of bras and panties). Last night I also dropped $40 on a teddy bear and books. Romance novels to be exact, though I am not sure how reading them will actually be good for me right now...

I think my mini spending spree needs to stop. Though I just thought of other things that I need to buy...

I decided that I may just still have my heart...but there is still that gaping hole in my chest because it is in a million pieces. Like a vase that is broken. You know the space that it was in but now it just occupies the floor.

I also don't think my heart is a normal shape. You know that cute little heart with it's round tops and pointy little bottom. That is a sturdy shape. If it were to fall, it is so top heavy that it would turn itself around and land on it's little butt shaped head. I think my heart is in the shape of a star. A star that burns so brightly when it's in love that it is blinding. A star that cannot see what is going on around it for it is casting off so much light it is blind. So when it starts to fall it cannot help but land wrong and break into thousands of tiny shards. Those tiny shards I am left picking up, one by one. Those shards are each little memories of me and him together. Each one cuts me so deep that I don't think I can stem the bleeding.